I didn’t plan to update today, but thought better of it. It is, as of this writing, Valentine’s Day! Yay! It’s a great day, whether you’re single or attached. Why? Let me ‘splain.

It’s a holiday devoted to love, chocolate, and sexy time. What’s not to like? Sure, you may be sitting at your computer, scowling and thinking that I’m wrong, and that’s your right. What I want to point out is this: being bitter doesn’t make anything better for YOU. It doesn’t change a damned thing in the world. All it does is make you feel miserable. If that’s what you want to do to yourself, by all means! Have at it! But don’t inflict your bitterness upon the rest of the world. Let people enjoy things. (This has become something of a mantra for me in recent years, and it applies to SO MANY THINGS.)

Trimmed for ease in scrolling and to hide the positivity from those who aren’t in the mood to see it. Because I love you. (See what I did there?)

I’ll admit, I was once bitter and lonesome. I was also extremely unwell and thus unable to look beyond the scope of my own life. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that the world needs more love in it. If you want to falsely complain that this is a made up holiday (and the inimitable Cat Valente has a marvelous essay disproving that right here), nobody’s stopping you. Just don’t stomp on anybody else’s happiness.

In my own personal life, my husband and I don’t really celebrate this day on any sort of scale. We’ve been together for twelve years, and I can sincerely say that he’s my soulmate. No, not every day is a holiday, but life is pretty great with him. I knew that exchanging gifts wasn’t going to be a thing (it rarely is with us anymore), but I took the time to bake a batch of dark chocolate brownies for him last night (from a mix; I’m not that fancy). I treated myself to a couple of romance novels, because I get in the mood for them around this time of year. (The fact that these romance novels also contain some Lovecraftian horror is beside the point…it’s actually fairly on-brand for me.) It’s been a pretty great day.

Are you single? Are you unhappy about it? Treat yourself, darling! Have your favorite dinner (fast food, even, if you want to avoid the crowds), buy yourself a present, pick up a fancy dessert if you like (a lot of even the most basic grocery stores sell single servings of cakes and pies, and the higher-end shops have even more elegant options). Light candles for your own damned self, because you are a beautiful unicorn, and you deserve it.

In short, this is me telling you to love yourself in whatever shape that might happen to take. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to those around you.

And if all else fails, remember that tomorrow is one of the last Half-Price Chocolate Days of the autumn-spring holiday season. Go forth, and may the odds be ever in your favor.