I have been felled by  some sort of cold. I feel as if this is becoming a monthly phenomenon, and frankly, I’m bored with it. I always get especially whimsical in the brain pan when this happens. I attribute it to a mixture of lack of sleep and the cocktail of cold medication that I gobble down each day to attempt to keep the symptoms at bay. Things get…interesting.

It was under this particular set of circumstances that I decided it was time to watch Once Upon a Time. I’d never watched the show, but one of my fellow contributors over at Speculative Chic wrote a post about season 7. In the process of editing and formatting the post, I watched a few minutes of the first episode of S7 out of curiosity. I also did a bit of research, and even though I’ve been spoiled on a few things, I’m still on board to watch.

I have so many thoughts. And not all of them were inspired by the frightening quantity of chemicals that are coursing through my veins right now.

First, this show is a bit of a hot mess, isn’t it? I’m having a good time with it, but it’s just about what I’d expect from a regular network attempting to do a series like this one. I realize also that it was meant to be a family show, but for the love of Pete’s Dragon (does he show up later? I wouldn’t be surprised), some of this stuff is so over the top that it reaches the point of unintentional hilarity.

I adore Evil Queen mode Regina’s wardrobe. She is so stunningly extra that I really wonder how much work it took for her to pare it all down to become Serious Businesswoman Mayor. I said on Twitter that her Evil Queen outfits look like what Disney wants you to believe is their idea of what a dominatrix looks like. But we all know that they know better.

I do like that her office reflects her true nature, however:

She might wear Serious Businesswoman clothing here in the real world, but look at that office. LOOK AT IT. NONE of this decor goes with the rest of Storybrooke. Her home is even tame compared to this.

I also find that I am more amused than I probably should be by Rumplestiltskin. If Regina is the Queen of Extra, he’s at least the High Duke. His fondness for flamboyant gestures led me to use the phrase “Rumple-jazz-hands” and I don’t think that I can ever not call him that in my head now.

Another question that I have: is literally EVERY SINGLE CITIZEN in Storybrooke a character from a fairy or folktale? Does that mean that the random folks in the background are the avatars of some of the lesser-known stories of the world? And did I spot Nurse Ratched working in the prison basement? Does that mean that, perhaps, the other citizens were pulled out of other fictional worlds?

So many questions.