If you didn’t read my recent Favorite Things column over at Speculative Chic (and why not?), you may have missed me geeking out about one of my newer found loves: Panic! At the Disco.

I know, the band’s been around for a while. I’m sorry for my lateness to the party. To be fair, when the band debuted, I was obsessed with classic rock. I pretty much missed the first ten years of 2000-era music while I was listening to Queen, Pink Floyd, Def Leppard, and others. Mr. Price was the one who sparked my Panic! obsession a few years ago. As you may have read in the post that I linked to above, I came home from work one day in 2016 to Mr. Price being all excited to show me this video that had started playing while he had YouTube on in the background during his day. It was “Death of a Bachelor,” and I was utterly smitten. Behold!

And now the part where I use the “read more” tag, because I love you. Always remember that I love you.

We had the privilege of seeing Panic! in late January. Unfortunately, I wasn’t feeling well that day, and the concert didn’t have the magical healing effect that most concerts tend to have on me when I’m feeling down. I had the foresight to record a lot of the show (which was allowed, so don’t yell at me), so at least I have some video of the performance. I’ve also been watching the weekly recaps on the band’s Instagram and YouTube channels. I just wish that I’d been in a better frame of mind during the show itself so that I could have appreciated it more.

I won’t even really have a chance to catch another show during this tour, because the band’s in Europe as I write this, performing to a lot of sold-out houses. Great for Europe, crap for me, unless I want to spend more money than I can actually afford to try to catch them this summer at the Firefly Music Festival (we calculated the cost, and it would almost be cheaper to fly to Germany for a brief European vacation than it would be for a higher-end music festival experience). I won’t be doing that, because I’m not really that interested in any of the other acts that are performing, and I am not a fan of camping in general (even though we have friends who generously offered the use of their air-conditioned camper, should we decide to go). Music festivals, as much as I want them to be, most likely aren’t my thing. Too much time outside in summer, doesn’t agree with me at all.

While I have listened to other music in the last month and a half, I play Panic! almost daily. Different albums suit different days and moods. My morning alarms are set to scare the snot out of me with the opening horns of “High Hopes.” I listen to Pretty. Odd. on my way to work, as it is generally a cheerful way to start an otherwise glum day. I may or may not have ordered a doll version of Beebo the puppet, star of the “Hey Look Ma, I Made It” video. I did. I ordered one. It’s getting serious. (Beebo is on backorder, and I should have him in early April.) I am even contemplating a tattoo, which I suspect is maybe not the best idea.

However, this band, this music, has become one of my lifelines. It’s the latest in a long string of things that I have convinced myself make it worth it to wake up in the morning. As long as there is the promise of another show, another album, even another music video (a new one premiered this week, in fact!), then it’s worth it to keep getting up and going to the day job. It’s worth it to get out of bed. My life has been made better because of this band, and part of me wants a permanent reminder for when things get too bleak. Will I do it? Maybe. Time will tell.

I’ve also been lured back into fiction writing as a result of this newfound love, and that’s definitely a good thing. Writers block has been a constant companion for many years, and anything that can snap me out of it is welcomed with open arms.